[He makes sure to keep his breathing slow and even. He's not sure how much tension in his body it would take to wake Gonou up, but he's sure it isn't a lot, even with only one hand and knee touching.]

The first man I loved killed himself two feet from the door of an emergency survival capsule.

[His voice is quiet and very calm, with a far-away almost singsong cadence. He gives a little huff of breath, and a raw smile of exasperation with himself.]

I made my mistakes big, though. Big and right at the beginning, until they came rolling back to bury me.