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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

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[littletonoidea]

"Hey, if there's any time of year I should get off my ass and find you something better than a Hallmark and a Benjamin, 'tis the goddamn season."

"But-- yeah." He holds up the lighter to look at a bit more intently, and flicks Jon a smile. "Happy birthday to you too. How old's that make you now, anyhow?"

[epistemological]

"Fuck if I know," he says with a huff of a laugh. "Time is a joke around here. And I'd have to figure out if I count the time I was a pirate for a year."

[littletonoidea]

"First of all, that's fucking incredible that that's a sentence you can say with a straight face," he says gleefully. "But also, like. Even with the whole Archivist Scissorhands aesthetic, you still don't actually look that much older than me, and I'm officially thirty-three now."

[epistemological]

"Depending on your timing, I've either got two or three years on you, but not much else."

He reaches over and fluffs his hair a little, showing off the white.

"This is most of why people are confused I know what a ninja turtle is."

[littletonoidea]

"I am shocked - shocked that someone who looks like you live off of Werthers Originals knows what a ninja turtle is. Absolute blasphemy."

In the husky, flat tone of someone who is dryly, deeply amused.

[epistemological]

"Enough to claim Donatello as my favorite, not that it was ever in question."

[littletonoidea]

"Oh yeah. Big nerds love a big nerd. Bet you thought you were smarter than all the other kids your age, too."

[epistemological]

"Please don't remind me," he says with obvious 'pain'.

"...Raphael or Michelangelo?"

[littletonoidea]

That gets a snort. "Ouch. You're not wrong, though, Raph was my main man."

[epistemological]

"I mean, the only other choice was Leonardo."

He doesn't think Leonardo was anyone's favorite, but this is purely a personal opinion.