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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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[littletonoidea]

Yeah, well. A couple of weeks is a lot on the outside.

[The little pat gets an extra squeeze before he lets her go to look her over, just in case.]

But hey, maybe if you get one more on your punch card, you'll get a free soda.

[cactusy]

I love going for world records.

[She says, flopping back to sit on her mattress.]

Deaths were beating out the comas; couldn't have that.

[Sheeee haaaaates itttttt]

[littletonoidea]

You know both of those being high is a bad thing, right?

[And of course he's flopping on the bed next to her, letting his knee nudge into her thigh to keep up the contact.]

I've only had the one coma now. And only two deaths! I'm as surprised as you are.

[cactusy]

[Shaw feels a sudden surge of gratitude at how well he just gets her, without her needing to explain anything. Most people move away entirely after she responds stiffly or weakly to a big gesture of physical affection - but leaving her with something small yet sustained rather than completely withdrawing is no issue for her. It's welcome, even.

She presses her leg a little more firmly into his knee, reaching out to briefly squeeze her hand around it in a silent thank you.]

I know. And I know rumor has it that frequent comas are a sign the Admiral is thinking about kicking me to the curb.

[littletonoidea]

[The warm grip gets a grin and a soft chuckle, and he busies his hands with pulling a cigarette out, but no lighter.]

I don't think I'm qualified to talk about the Monty Hall Coma problem. [He waves his packet idly in the air.] Maybe it's 'cos the Admiral knows you're gonna do something so spectacularly stupid that he does it on purpose to stop you from getting your ass sent to juvie?

[cactusy]

Honestly? That fits. I ever tell you about the time my team conspired to tranq me so I wouldn't do something that was--

[She pauses, making a small disgruntled noise in the back of her throat.]

-- important, but maybe kinda ill-conceived?

[littletonoidea]

[That gets a snort of laughter.]

Oh, I definitely believe that. I'd probably help them, to be honest. [He levels a wide smirk at her.] How'd that work out for them?

[cactusy]

It worked great.

[She says - mildly disgruntled still, but not actually angry.]

Reese was in trouble, but my cover identity had been blown and I was supposed to stay hidden. I left the hideout; I was going to be careful. Root tracked me down. I thought I talked her around to the idea of me helping Reese out before I went back under.

[But she very much Had Not.]

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, but how careful can you really be when you're coming out of a chloroform trip? That was for the best. And the mission still went nominally, right?

[cactusy]

This was before the chloroform trip. She led me to some kind of abandoned building and stuck a needle in my neck.

[And it had been very rude!!]

But yeah. Reese was okay.

[littletonoidea]

[Eiffel's still for a moment.

Then he props up on his elbows to give her a delighted look.]

They had to drug you on two separate occasions??

[cactusy]

No, no, the timeline was like-- I was hiding like a good little fugitive, but then Reese seemed like he needed backup so I decided to take off. Then they drugged me.

[littletonoidea]

Oh. [And he flops back down again.] So I'm probably beating you on the numbers of times I've been drugged. [In the flattest, dryest tone:] Woohoo?

[cactusy]

[She pauses for a moment, idly poking at his leg with a finger.]

Maybe not. I've been drugged a lot by non-teammates. Hazards of the job.

[And hazards of being held captive and strapped to a bed for eleven months, but she won't count that; that feels like cheating.]

[littletonoidea]

[The poke gets a light shift of his leg to nudge her right back.]

I think I've only been drugged by my team. [He squints at the ceiling.] Is that worse, d'you think?

[cactusy]

It's more annoying.

[Shaw grumbles - because "annoying" is a good word for overzealously protective teammates, but only a good word for malicious enemies when she's purposefully trying to downplay them, which she doesn't really want to do here.]

You being drugged by your team was like... Hilbert trying to hurt you, though, wasn't it?

[littletonoidea]

Actually, some of that was Minkowski.

[With an indulgent tone like Shaw's gonna find it funny.]

So Hilbert and Hera set up knock-out gas in a bunch of the systems, right? For- you know, reasons.

[He's not telling her about his one-man toothpaste mutiny just yet.]

One time the commander got so fed up with Hilbert and me that she kept us knocked out for like, most of a week.