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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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audio; 10/16, morning

[cactusy]

Hey. Space Ace?

[This is whispered very quietly into the communicator, like she's trying to avoid attracting attention.]

Re: audio; 10/16, morning

[littletonoidea]

[It says a lot about how seriously Eiffel takes radio as a first instinct that he meets her volume.]

Reading quiet and clear, Polly Pistol. What's the sitch?

[cactusy]

You and Neal were the best thing these assholes cooked up, you know? If you're based on real people somewhere in the world, I hope I get to meet you someday.

[littletonoidea]

[That gets a distinct pause.]

Shaw, where are you?

pretend i said the 17th i can't do dates

[cactusy]

Mm, somewhere safe.

Re: pretend i said the 17th i can't do dates

[littletonoidea]

Shaw that's not--

[But he cuts himself off with an abrupt groan, the world suddenly spinning from the lurch to his feet, and he nearly staggers back into the bed.]

Jesus... stay where you are, babe, I'm coming to you.

[cactusy]

[Oh fuck nooooooo, this is was not part of the plan.]

Eiffel, no.

[littletonoidea]

Eiffel yes!

[Goodbye to your plans, hello to your dickhead older brother.]

I am putting pants on and I am coming after you! Where are my goddamn...

[And his communicator gets abandoned briefly to try and find pants; Shaw will be able to hear a few slightly concerning thumps as he goes, like he's having trouble keeping his balance.]

[cactusy]

... What's wrong with you?

[Besides the fact that you're, you know, not real.]

[littletonoidea]

Nothing, I'm fine. [The sound comes with more gentle struggling, but this time just getting into pants.] 's'just-- hot. There.

[The decisive sound of a zipper being closed.]

Don't make me chase you down, Shaw. [And as much as he was full of bravado before, that comes out... more like a plea.] Where's Root? She'll look out for you.

[cactusy]

[Oh, hell no.]

You ever try looking for somebody in the library when they don't want to be found?

[She lies, from her Zero cell.]

It's pretty much impossible. I don't want to hurt you, but they're going to try to make me, and before this is over I just wanted to say-- what I did. Thank you. It's been fun.

[littletonoidea]

No- no, goddamn it, Shaw, you don't get to just Hi-Yo Silver and vanish into the sunset! Where the hell are you?!

[He can feel his temper flaring with the hot flush giving him a throbbing headache and he doesn't care.]

[cactusy]

And who knows. Maybe you'll be in the next one. You think they'll do the Barge again? Gotta admit, this was pretty creative.

[She should probably stop talking; real or not, she doesn't want to torture the guy, and she's clearly upsetting him.]

Eiffel. Can you stop for a sec.

[littletonoidea]

[Normally, he would. Objectively, he knows he should. But the heat under his skin won't go away.]

Screw you! We're not simulations! We're real and I'm not gonna let you hurt yourself over it!!

[cactusy]

Why do you sound weird? Why did it sound like you almost fell over?

[littletonoidea]

I'm fine! It's just a headache! Where are you?!

[The tell-take creak of the door opening gets interrupted when he suddenly coughs, sharp and husky.]

[cactusy]

I told you. Hidden way in the depths of the library where you'll never find me.

[And this is not going the way she wanted it to go, and he wasn't supposed to come and look for her, he was just supposed to let her say her piece and--

-- it doesn't matter. She needs to hang up. But first.]

You're deathtolling.

[It sure sounds like it, anyway.]

[littletonoidea]

I'm death-initely not, I haven't died in months.

[Though he sounds a bit out of breath, as he goes into the hallway.]

And you're not in the library. I'm not that dumb. You're trying to throw me off.

[cactusy]

[Welp, clearly sentimentality time needs to be over now. She hangs up.]