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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

Action | Text | Voice | Video

Comments

[littletonoidea]

[He has no idea what he's supposed to be looking at.]

You finally found an Armani that fits your scrawny frame, Chicken Little?

[Buddy if it's clothes you know Eiffel's not gonna know it.]

I don't know, man, unless you- what, graduated or something while I wasn't looking, you've got me stumped.

1/???

[betacuck]

[ oh for fuck's sake ]

2/???

[betacuck]

[ he just guessed it he just actually guessed it he pulled something out of his ass and got it in one ]

3/???

[betacuck]

[ if he just graduated is it too late to kill someone. does he have a grace period. how does this work. ]

4/6

[betacuck]

[ Fuck. Okay. this is still salvageable. ]

5/6

[betacuck]

First of all, I hope Jedao takes your dick and ties it into a knot like a cherry stem and you get the world's worst UTI. Like no amount of Ocean Spray will be able to fix your piss. It's going to be orange and weird and you're going to go piss mad.

6/6

[betacuck]

Okay. Turn around.

Perfection

[littletonoidea]

[The thing about Roman's insults is that it could literally just be him being edgy about the Chicken Little thing so Eiffel's not mad, or even offended.

He just shrugs and swivels his ass on the back of the couch so he's not looking at Roman anymore.]

Well?

1/2

[betacuck]

Oh my god, shut up. I hate you. Okay.

[ He clears his throat. Runs his hands down his face. Takes a deep breath




and leaves. ]

2/2

[betacuck]

[ knock knock knock. roman has decided to reset the entire scenario. ]

[littletonoidea]

[Eiffel swivels abruptly back around when he hears Roman knock on the door, and he stares for a moment in pure bafflement as he sits straddling the couch, before he hops to his feet.]

Uhhhhh... come in?

[betacuck]

Heeeeey, shitbird! Guess who's got a great head of hair, a hard cock and a warden item because he graduated?

[ And the arms are wide again, triumphant! ]

[littletonoidea]

You- wait--

[He was joking, Roman, did you actually--]

Seriously?!

[betacuck]

Yeah.

[ Roman sounds like he almost doesn't believe it either, all of the theatrics gone sans for a hand up for a high-five. ]

[littletonoidea]

[Eiffel moves in immediately to give Roman that high-five, and it's a good, palm-stinging satisfying clap.

And then he immediately grips the hand and yanks Roman into a tight bear hug, and he can't help the shocked laugh that escapes him as he squeezes tight.]

Dude! Holy shit, man, you finally made it!

[betacuck]

[ His laugh is usually high and girlish, but this is beyond a giggle: it's an absolutely breathless sort of squawk that's so genuine Roman doesn't realize he could even make this sound before as he's bear hugged. He's flustered, and his face is red, he's grinning, and shit. Has he ever felt this happy?

Roman hugs back, fierce and pleased, breathless. Proud.]

I'm one of you fucks now!

[ He doesn't let go. He has a million questions to ask Eiffel, but this is what he wants for now. ]

[littletonoidea]

[Roman's short and Eiffel's excited, so he gives in to temptation and tugs his friend off his feet for a moment with the force of their hug, laughing giddily.]

Welcome to the big scary world of being a responsible adult, asshole! There's no turning back now!

[betacuck]

[ If it was any other person, if it was any other day, Roman would make some attempt to either make this funny or be as disgusted as possible. Eiffel definitely gets a pass, and Roman even kicks his legs a little up, too, because fuck it. ]

Let me know when you arrive to the 'responsible' part.

[ When he eventually is placed down, he's going to run a hand through his hair to fix it, shaking his head. ]

Okay. What do you do to celebrate? We're celebrating. We can't exactly knock back a couple of brewskis like normos...

[littletonoidea]

[He's tempted not to let go, because he's just that excited, but he's just inordinately pleased about all of this.]

Hey, you can knock 'em back just fine, I'm totally fine sticking with soda. Oh, hey, I can show you the warden lounge now!

[betacuck]

Isn't that the normal lounge? I haven't actually looked, I've been sitting on this shit until Raylan woke up.

[ An extremely difficult thing for him to do. ]