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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

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[littletonoidea]

[He does listen when Jon's talking, and his silence has a distinctly awkward edge to it when Jon points out the obvious fact that he's not as special as he thinks he is for being targeted before. Not compared to Jon, which, he can see that.

It'd be like if Hilbert took everyone as collateral just to get to him, really. Tormenting his experiment at any cost.

...thinking of it like that, actually, he very abruptly realises he has a lot more in common with Jon than he thought.

Before he can comment on it, though, Jon's moved on to the more salient point.]

...well, I have a very supportive CV of the fact that I can be the most annoying person in any given room.

[There's a long exhale as he sighs out his cigarette.]

And he's already worked out I'm weak at the knees for a good authoritarian tone, by the way, and not in the fun way. But... God, it's weird being able to kind of like...

[There's a pause for a moment as he tries to find the right words.]

He's just a guy. Behind all the sense and sensibility and spooks he's just... I dunno. The Eye seems bad for you guys, but he doesn't wanna cop to it.

[epistemological]

Of course he doesn't want to 'cop' to it [ but there's a great deal less frustration and a bit of dark humor now ] given he's sunken about 200 years into the whole thing. Our world makes it very- very appealing to be full of fear.

But it leads to bad things, as you've said. It leads to... losing perspective. Forgetting who you are in the face of, um, of all of it.

[ He breathes out. ]

He is 'just a guy'. And a guy who, if his friends were to be believed, used to be quite a decent sort. He... cares. I-in frankly strange and baffling ways.

[ He sighs, just a little one. ]

He's scared. And he doesn't know what to do. And he's realizing that the Eye isn't the answer he thought it was and that is terrifying. People lie the most when they're trying to convince themselves.

I'm sure you know what I mean.

[littletonoidea]

I mean...

[Is that a call-out? He feels vaguely called out despite himself but now he's overthinking it and he's worried that Jon knows something he's not saying and he's freaking himself out thinking about it.]

Yeah, obviously. Only for most people the lie is something stupid like, "Oh yeah, I'll totally ace that test I haven't studied for", or- or "just one more won't hurt". Not-- "my space-boss who's got literally no trace of humanity or- even a concept of morality is gonna make me 'employee of the apocalypse', for sure".

[He gives a light snort.]

Points to Elias for really honing that specificality.

[He means 'specificity'.]

[epistemological]

[ Jon usually knows more than he's going to admit during a conversation, and he almost always won't talk about it if he does. But he's not really a master of subtle manipulation and/or utilizing that information. Usually he just sort of spouts it out and goes 'well what do we do about this now?' because he sure as fuck doesn't know. ]

...yes, he's- he's definitely picked a niche and fulfilled it, um... thoroughly.

But I-

Primarily, I wanted to let you know that I am making myself available as a resource to you. I... I was trying something different, not coming to you directly with that, but we all saw how that worked out so, um...

If you need me to shed light on something, p-please don't hesitate to ask.