IC Inbox

[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

Action | Text | Voice | Video

Comments

Re: audio, sibs channel

[littletonoidea]

Eiffel has literally only gone as far as jeans, and there's a few oil stains on them that suggest these are not a particularly fresh pair, and his t-shirt has a few ratty holes in it, but he looks comfortable, and when he strolls in and spots Neal in the kitchen he comes and all but bunts his head on Neal's shoulder as he flops against him in a weird draping hug.

"Did you know you're a godsend?"

[cactusy]

Shaw loves them both, very much. But bacon? She might just love bacon more. Eiffel and Neal get a nod as she passes by them completely, heading instead straight for the stove. Jet and Bear, on the other hand, bound right in to meet their new playmate.

"So," says Shaw, holding a strip of bacon that she'd snatched right from the pan with her bare fingers. "Aliens?"

[conning]

"Barbarian, there are plates." He points to the tidy stack of them sitting right next to Shaw on the counter, then turns to give Eiffel a kiss atop his curly curly head. "And you are the most low-key alien abductee ever."

Dog Eiffel, meanwhile, crouches in front of his potential new friends, wriggling desperately for approval.

[cactusy]

Shaw promptly takes a plate, puts exactly three pieces of bacon on it, and offers it to the dogs.

[littletonoidea]

"Well, you know me. Just trying not to rock the boat," he says, turning to lean his butt against the counter instead, watching Shaw baconise the dogs.

"Did I tell you guys about how the star changed colour? 'cos it turns out that was just the shitty prequel we weren't prepared for."

[conning]

Neal's glance at Shaw is the toothless version of 'I'm not angry, just disappointed,' made more meaningless by the twitch of a smile. He bumps his hip against Eiffel's lightly. "I remember it coming up, when we went to that one port with the blue star."

[cactusy]

Shaw gives him a smug, unrepentant look, then pucks another strip out of the pan. Sorry, Neal; she knows you love her and she knows you will not make her stop.

"Is everyone okay?" she asks Eiffel, more seriously.

[littletonoidea]

"I mean- apart from where everyone has a set of the brain handcuffs right now," and he taps the back of his neck to indicate the restraining bolt he's referring to. "Yeah, they're fine. But I was on the outside of the Hephaestus when Mr Big and Dr Bad came home to roost and my gravity boots got turned off, so. I started drifting."

His fingers drum on the bench for a moment, before he starts fussing with pockets for his cigarettes. "And while I was out there, I finally figured out what the Dear Listeners were trying to do. Why the star kept increasing gravity on us, why the calls kept coming through in the first place. They wanted to talk to us."

He looks as his hands - he's not lighting the cigarette, just twirling it between his fingers as he pulls it out of the packet. "Or, you know. That's what I guessed. Kind of had to cross the red line and test it first." He stretches both hands around and ends it with jazz hands. "Leap of faith."

[conning]

Neal moves the pan off the burner, giving Eiffel a sharp look.

"Douglass Eiffel, did you-- did you throw yourself into a star."

[cactusy]

"Uh-- not to take the side of weird space experimentation, but--"

But she is maybe going to do that. Sorry, Neal.

"This kinda sounds like a reasoned educated guess with a decent chance of a good payoff, not recklessness. And anyway, neither of us have any room to talk when it comes to doing dangerous stuff."

[littletonoidea]

He does wince at the intensity of Neal's reaction.

"Technically I got sucked in? B-but I was right, though!" He straightens a bit more. "When I got close they opened up a freaking wormhole to drag me through to this weird 'and then he woke up' hotel room on the other side of the freaking universe!"

He has to pause there, because he's going to freak out if he doesn't take a deep breath. The taste of the unlit cigarette is grounding in its familiar foulness, and he sighs.

"And that is where we finally got to meet face to face. The human race and the Dear Listeners. Or, you know. Doug and Bob."

[conning]

There is a vibe. Neal was always good at catching vibes, the way the air around a person can shift when their mood changes--he still is. Which is why he turns off the burner and puts an arm around Eiffel to draw him over to the kitchen table.

"Sit, and hold that thought."

Then he leaves the room. ...He'll be back in a minute.

[cactusy]

Neal, you can't just abruptly turn off the burner on half-cooked food; it'll turn out bad! Shaw promptly switches it right back on, plopping a pad of butter on each cooking waffle for good measure. She'll babysit the stove; it's fine.

"Eiffel."

She pauses.

"If I need to go to your world and kick some alien ass, I will."

[littletonoidea]

He sits where he's told, a little baffled but willing to accept it, but when Shaw talks he gives a hollow snort.

"You sure about that, Rock'em Shawk'em? One to ten how hard you can punch me in the face."

[cactusy]

Without any hesitation:

"Actual you, mind-controlled you, or weird lookalike clone you?"

[littletonoidea]

And without missing a beat:

"Doppelganger that may or may not have stolen my genetic material but definitely stole my brainwave patterns to finish learning English after I broke it by blasting Urban Dictionary on the loudspeakers."

[cactusy]

"Pfft," she scoffs. "Easy answer; I'd go at that sucker with an eleven."

[littletonoidea]

"Well, I am both flattered and concerned, but- yeah, basically when I got there, I found myself looking in a good old fashioned double trouble situation. Me and my alien radio shadow."

[cactusy]

Shaw grunts, tethered by the stove (these waffles are almost griddled to crispy golden perfection) and so unable to shove him in the side with her foot the way she wants to.

"Dumbass. Just because I could easily punch any version of you in the face doesn't mean I'll punch you you. They have nefarious intentions, or was this some 'If we make ourselves look like you, we think that'll make you feel reassured' crap?"

[conning]

"Alternatively, I could see it being a 'we have no idea what you're supposed to look like, generally, so we assume this is all of you, and our communication faculties are wildly different because we're aliens.'" Neal comes back with a slender, long adolescent black cat balanced on his shoulder and a bundle of something deep green in his arms.

"Sameen, Sameen. I'm delighted to finally introduce you both."

The cat wobbles slightly and gives a soft peep of protest as he opens up his bundle into a half-folded blanket, and gently drapes it around Eiffel's shoulders. The blanket is about ten pounds.

"Had to guess on the weight. People can vary on their preferences."

[littletonoidea]

Eiffel gives a small oof of surprise when the blanket is draped on him, because he wasn't expecting it to have that much weight to it.

"Well, I'm not going anywhere any time soon," he jokes lightly. "But I think the copying me thing was... well, that's how they study other alien species." He shrugs. "They make clones and send them back to the homeworld with all their memories intact, full inception. Use them as one-way radios. Two way for emergencies only."

[cactusy]

Shaw finally switches off the burner, walking over to inspect the cat face to face.

"Did you just put an emergency blanket on him?" she asks, sparing Eiffel a confused glance.

[conning]

"I put a weighted blanket on him, yours is in the living room, and I'm sorry, were they going to try and replace you, because I might need to have a fucking word."

The first part for the Shaw, the second for Eiffel.

Turn ur locations on aliens he just wants to talk.

[littletonoidea]

"Me? Nah, they need me, apparently. But they did it to other people. Our captain Lovelace - we learned that the hard way. She was the one we were holding the funeral for, last time I came back from home - only right as I got back, she came back to life in her freaking body bag, and started healing." He tugs the blanket a little tighter around himself, trying to keep his voice even. "The contact event, which mostly means the Dear Listeners trying to use their open channel to send us information we had a really hard time translating again, also turned out to be able to heal Lovelace. Cos she is one of their little speaker systems."

[cactusy]

"Eiffel," says Shaw, who is busy having a staring contest with the cat, and is not investigating the offered blankets, "you know that none of this makes any sense, right?"