IC Inbox

[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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Comments

[verticalwall]

I mean you're just like Barbie!

Barbie was getting really sad and asking if people ever thought about death all the time, so she went to Weird Barbie and Weird Barbie told her to go to the Real World to find herself. And she and Ken went, but Ken came back and told us all about the Patriarchy and now things are really bad there, which is why I tried to go to the real world and instead of being there, I'm here.

So you're like Barbie. Sad all the time but always pretending to be really happy.

[littletonoidea]

[Well that's a lot to learn all at once. Which always seems to be the way with Allan but it never gets less jarring.]

Barbie had depression?

[verticalwall]

I guess. I'm not really in that inner circle. I just like to hang out. Lots of irrepressible thoughts of death, for sure.

But yeah, you're totally Barbie. Do you have cellulite, too?

[littletonoidea]

No! I mean- [He twists to try and look at his own ass.] -maybe? Wait, no, that doesn't matter! How do you know all that?

[verticalwall]

[ Allan's gaze widens considerably at Eiffel looking like he's about to chase his tail like a dog, but it settles immediately. ]

Because I'm Allan.

[ That's probably going to be confusing. Allan gestures as he speaks. ]

You know how I said no one really notices I'm there? Or around? Or exist, really? And how I really don't mind it because I like just standing around and listening to people?

When people forget you're there, you hear everything. I know most of what goes on in Barbieland at any given time.