Communications Officer Doug Eiffel (
littletonoidea) wrote2022-03-02 01:29 am
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"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"
BZZZZZZZ
Action | Text | Voice | Video
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If you prove useful, I won't need to bother anyone else.
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The only real point of interest in Eiffel's room, now that Kujen's seen the bedroom and bathroom, is the rec-room-cum-lounge. He's still got a box of scraps in the corner, that are positively medieval by Kujen's standards, with a few half-shaped pieces here and there; rough walkie-talkies, dismantled CD players and power cables - and a particularly homemade cattle prod, only half dismantled because he got distracted partway, but still relatively intact.
You've already proven you can do whatever you want to me and I can't even touch you, how much more useful do you freaking want?!
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As of now, he only has a week, at most. But Jedao has a key to the engine room. Kujen is certain he can figure it out. He collects a few mechanical odds and ends - including spending a minute re-calibrating the marshmallow prod - then heads out, walking the floors, searching for a door that matches the room he awoke in.
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It reads more as the incessant insistence of a toddler not getting their way, than a panicked grown man trying desperately to fight against the being puppeteering his system, but the effect is the same - resistance, regardless, the best he can manage.
And hey, starting from the first floor and needing to go down to- shit no he can read Eiffel's thoughts it is pink elephants all the way down right now. No thinking about Jedao's room just keep him fucking busy.
You're not going to be able to live here, jackass! Once the week's over you're going back to your grave where you goddamn belong!! You won't get to keep anything!
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He's blandly confident in his ability to do so. The barge is a machine that is alive that runs on resonances and temporal cycles and Vibes™, and that is, in fact, what he is most expert in.
Ah. That's a Shuos door, plainly. And it opens for Eiffel's face.
Kujen runs, awkwardly, very nearly faceplanting, ducking into the nearest empty cabin, which is 5-10. It has been a very long time since he had to run, longer since he had to actual control the body doing it.
Still, Eiffel will feel emotions bleeding through: a flare of nervousness - he does not particularly want Hakkai to catch him again - accompanied by a spike of smug happiness. He had hoped he wouldn't need to hack the door. It will save so much time.
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Okay, sitrep real quick.
Cons: He can't move, he can't talk, all he can do is be a body until Kujen chooses to abandon him for his next prize - Shen Wei. If he doesn't try and hurt the whole damn Barge herself in getting there.
Pros: Right now he doesn't need to breathe. And his own thoughts can be very, very loud. (Plus, maybe there are psychics on board that might hear him.)
Pryce and Carter 838.: Avoid unnecessary interpersonal friction with strategic doses of humor, down-time, and behavioral modifications.
Time to work his magic.
HARRY TRUMAN DORIS DAY RED CHINA JOHNNIE RAY--
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He cracks the door slightly so that he'll hear whenever Hakkai leaves the room, and situates himself fully hidden it, toeing off Eiffel's shoes to sit in lotus position. He rolls up Eiffel's left sleeve.
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Rosenbergs, H-bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom! Brando, "The King and I", and "The Catcher in the Rye"!
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He doesn't even say it all that meanly - diffidently, dismissively.
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Then I can call my friends up! Once you're off my back, they're gonna pound your ass in!! We didn't start the fire--!!
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He still doesn't know about the death toll. Not quite enough skimming. A Shuos would never have made that mistake, but he was bored of people talking.
He touches the makeshift cattle prod to the inside of Eiffel's forearm, sending a nasty jolt through the big nerves there. The body jerks and the air smells like burnt hair. Eiffel can't control the body, but he's the one that feels the pain.
Perhaps I'll leave you in several chunks for Jedao to find. He blames himself so easily.
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But holy shit that hurt, and it gets Kujen a good few seconds of silence as Eiffel's body is forced to breathe through the pain.
And there's a flicker of determination, like a stubborn piece of grit that won't be scrubbed off the gears. You want hard ball, Kujen, you got it.
Four faces get plastered across the inside of Eiffel's eyes, so intensely it's nearly a hallucination.
IS THIS THE REAL LIFE? IS THIS JUST FANTASYYYYYY!!
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He runs the tip of the prod over the fresh burn, although he doesn't activate it, mentally calculating how much voltage will render the arm unusable in the short term.
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I'll take "Prove you've never made Jedao genuinely happy" for one hundred, Alex.
And takes another, deliberately off-key route.
Mostly it's an inarticulate scream, because Eiffel is passionate, not lyrically accurate.
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...I suppose you could both be tone deaf.
And then - the distinct sound of an internal station door. Light footsteps. Kujen waits until Hakkai is in the stairwell, and gives it another count of five before stepping back into the hallway.
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God damn it why wasn't this working-??
You're never gonna get anywhere with me, you know- a-as soon as someone hears you talk like a freaking space Nazi instead of a goddamn home grown loser you're gonna get tied up in a closet, best case scenario!!
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As soon as Hakkai finds out what you're doing he's going to make sure you don't see anything except the bars of the goddamn prison! No one here is gonna protect you!!
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He pulls open a closet, revealing the heap of a tied-up, cooling corpse. Blood pools in dark finger-stripes on its partially swollen neck. The face would be stunningly beautiful, if not for the waxy, repulsive slackness of death, the way the flesh no longer seems to hold its own weight anymore, sagging on the bone. Kujen fleeces its pockets briskly, and finds the engine room key. Jedao hadn't slept with his communicator on him, but this - yes, that makes sense.
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You're a monster.
There's no grandiosity or play behind the insult. Just the quiet, real horror of seeing the results of his work.
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Quite literally. Kujen is about equally amused by the pun and the sadistic opportunity to rub Eiffel's face in it - thankfully, not literally.
Oooh - he pulls something small and crystalline from the other pocket, his amusement vanishing in a spike of excitement. Once he's sure Mahar's body isn't concealing anything else useful, he shoves it back into the closet haphazardly. Leaving it strewn on the floor would only tip off Hakkai, and Kujen doesn't have a lot of time to be dodging extra complications.
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I'm gonna make sure he doesn't kill you. And it's a threat as much as a promise. I'll make sure you rot in Zero for the rest of the flood so you know how it feels to be goddamn helpless.
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Go back to the songs. They were less predictable.
He considers searching for Shen Wei's file. But that's probably much better hidden, if Jedao didn't destroy it entirely after memorizing it. Not worth the risk. He slips out, heading back up to the first floor.
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God he's going to grill Jedao so hard about setting up fucking secret passwords or something later for him.
You know what is predictable? That we're gonna stop you!!
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Which is why I will always win, and you will lose. I've already done the math.
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