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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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Comments

[tarakan]

[ look, they've got to talk about the "Ken made a post asking how to be a better boyfriend and inwardly Hilbert's hoping said boyfriend is Allan, otherwise Allan's gonna have a REAL BAD TIME" of it all. but first, ]

Did you know Ken and Allan's Barbie knows quantum physics?

[littletonoidea]

Did you know Allan thinks he and Ken are married now?

[tarakan]

What?

[ no. no he did not know that. ]

Ah.

Hmm.

[ what??????? ]

I believe Ken thinks that they are just boyfriends.

[littletonoidea]

I also think Ken thinks that.

[He rubs his face briefly.]

So Ken asked Allan out to be- goddamn, what was... "long-term right-here normal-commitment full-time boyfriends". And gave him a friendship bracelet for it. So now Allan thinks they're married and he's telling me about his plans to take Ken on a honeymoon.

[tarakan]

Hmm.

[ what the hell ]

Why is Ken the only one out of us who has healthiest idea of what constitutes a relationship?

[ guess who knows about divorce Eiffel, not 'has regular threesomes' Eiffel? ]

[littletonoidea]

I take offence to that sentence, Mister Doctor Never Gonna Get Some.

But probably because he's the one that's trying really hard to learn what that means? Allan just wants Ken, and believe me, we're trying to work on that.

[tarakan]

Why do you take offense to that statement? You do not have current girlfriend.

[ wait just a damn moment here ]

You do have current girlfriend? Or current boyfriend? Who is it?

[ talking about their inmates will happen later, Eiffel's got a significant other?! Who the hell is it! ]

[littletonoidea]

Y'know what actually I don't think my sex life is a conversation I wanna have with you again, doc!

[Unfortunately there's that obvious manic Doug Eiffel Can't Lie So Let's Divert energy to it.]

[tarakan]

[ Hilbert is scouring his brain, trying to think, Eiffel's got to be dating SOMEONE, who could it be... ]

It is Jedao, isn't it?

[ Jedao really doesn't like Hilbert, Jedao flipped his shit when Eiffel showed up brainwashed, and he flipped his shit in a way that would make more sense if it was a lover instead of a friend. ]

You can do better.

[littletonoidea]

Hey! Jedao's plenty great! He and Hakkai are the best things that've happened to me here!

[tarakan]

[ Jedao AND Hakkai?

Huh.

Wow. ]

This does explain a few things.

[littletonoidea]

Nope, nothing is explained because nothing is happening! Don't go getting any ideas!!

[tarakan]

No wonder both of them immediately lost all sense of reason when you arrived back on ship with restraining bolt. Love makes people act irrationally.