Communications Officer Doug Eiffel (
littletonoidea) wrote2022-03-02 01:29 am
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"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"
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Action | Text | Voice | Video
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Don't worry Mr. Bouchard, we'll have you renouncing your sins and preaching the good word of No More Being An Evil Bastard in no time, right?
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[...anyway.]
So! Should we... meet up in person, get to know each other a little so we can suss out how we're gonna arrange this whole Javert-ValJean situation?
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And that's. Not how Javert and Val-Jean worked. ]
That depends on whether you're planning to hound me disproportionately to my crime.
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also what good are stormtroopers going t--- no. he's not engaging. he's just going to block out that reference. ]
I'm almost entirely powerless here, so containment won't be necessary. As to how bad my crimes were-- most people do frown on giving the entire world over to a host of entities which feed on fear.
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...okay, but you see how the almost is still concerning, right? Almost, still means some. Almost competely useless still has a hair pin or a secret gas mask up his sleeve. Almost dead means they're gone juuuust long enough to trigger a dead-man switch before they kick their final bucket.
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[ among other things, but that's a nice place to start ]
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Has anyone... y'know, given you permission to be their personal Big Brother?
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[With a lilting, unspoken 'please' at the end.]
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[ a lot of wardens have powers. he doesn't see why he should have to give his up entirely. ]
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So, what's your room number? This is starting to feel like a chat we should have man-to-man!
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[ everyone always misses that part ]
But why not meet on deck? I'm here already, taking in the fresh air.
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[He's just calling it how he sees it.]
But yeah, sure, on-deck's fine too. Meet you at the pointy end.
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[ his smile is serene and he is not gritting his teeth.
But he is there, smoking at the bow when Eiffel arrives ]
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Look, I get it? I do appreciate that you used to be all rich and powerful, or whatever, you were like, BFFFFs forever with ol' Liz or something, probably. But I'm not gonna bow.
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he blows out a stream of smoke, wishing he some whiskey on him ]
The bow of the ship is the correct term for the pointy end, as you so creatively put it.
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[That sounds like a genuine noise of realisation.]
That's the fun part about working with spaceships instead of real boats, I guess. Nothing's pointy, 'cos if it is and it breaks something, you're as good as dead. Sometimes you're even actually dead!
[He's pulling out his own packet as he speaks with grim cheer.]
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[ if only, he thinks to himself ]
But let's not get sidetracked. You haven't been a warden all that long, have you?
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[ he could throw him overboard and no one would know. that's an option. ]
I've had wardens who wanted to check in daily, and others who were happy with the occasional catch-up. Do you have a preference?
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I mean, sure, we could totally do daily sitreps, get the 4-11 on where you wanna be, how many people you're screwing over with your weird camera powers. Stuff like that!
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