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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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[littletonoidea]

[Eiffel had very nearly needed a drink after seeing that. This was going to be... fun, right?]

Don't worry Mr. Bouchard, we'll have you renouncing your sins and preaching the good word of No More Being An Evil Bastard in no time, right?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I don't see why not; it's why we're both here. But please, call me Elias.

[littletonoidea]

Sure thing Eli.

[...anyway.]

So! Should we... meet up in person, get to know each other a little so we can suss out how we're gonna arrange this whole Javert-ValJean situation?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ Elias' usual controlled smile shifts a fraction at "Eli".





And that's. Not how Javert and Val-Jean worked. ]

That depends on whether you're planning to hound me disproportionately to my crime.

[littletonoidea]

That's gonna depend on how bad your crimes are, buddy! Is this the sort of thing we're gonna need some crack team of Dementors for to keep you under eternal wraps, or just some Stormtroopers on hand so you can't wander too far from your containment cell?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ so Jon hasn't yet gotten to this one. Wonderful.




also what good are stormtroopers going t--- no. he's not engaging. he's just going to block out that reference. ]

I'm almost entirely powerless here, so containment won't be necessary. As to how bad my crimes were-- most people do frown on giving the entire world over to a host of entities which feed on fear.

[littletonoidea]

[There's a few seconds of silence as Eiffel just, like. Parses that.]

...okay, but you see how the almost is still concerning, right? Almost, still means some. Almost competely useless still has a hair pin or a secret gas mask up his sleeve. Almost dead means they're gone juuuust long enough to trigger a dead-man switch before they kick their final bucket.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I'm able to see through someone's eyes or read their thoughts or memories, but only with said person's explicit and ongoing permission.

[ among other things, but that's a nice place to start ]

[littletonoidea]

...uhhhh... huh.

Has anyone... y'know, given you permission to be their personal Big Brother?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Of course.

[littletonoidea]

Are... you gonna tell me whoooo?

[With a lilting, unspoken 'please' at the end.]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Without their consent? That's the sort of thing I believe I'm supposed to avoid, now I'm turning over a new leaf.

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure using people's brains to extend your WiFi isn't exactly something that's gonna get you in the Hall of Heroes, Eli, so there's really only one way you can dig here.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Why? There's nothing inherently amoral about seeing someone's memory first hand, or seeing what they see-- when they wish you to.

[ a lot of wardens have powers. he doesn't see why he should have to give his up entirely. ]

[littletonoidea]

Okay, so- there is this thing we normal run-of-the-mill plebs have, I dunno if you've heard of it? It's called privacy? And typically we like it respected.

So, what's your room number? This is starting to feel like a chat we should have man-to-man!

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I do believe I said that my ability to do this only worked with a person's explicit and informed consent.

[ everyone always misses that part ]

But why not meet on deck? I'm here already, taking in the fresh air.

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, but it's still weird and creepy that you're a human spycam with Bluetooth.

[He's just calling it how he sees it.]

But yeah, sure, on-deck's fine too. Meet you at the pointy end.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

At the bow, yes.

[ his smile is serene and he is not gritting his teeth.

But he is there, smoking at the bow when Eiffel arrives ]

[littletonoidea]

[It only takes a minute, given how his room's on level one, so when he comes up he's just carrying on the conversation they started before.]

Look, I get it? I do appreciate that you used to be all rich and powerful, or whatever, you were like, BFFFFs forever with ol' Liz or something, probably. But I'm not gonna bow.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ the nonsense makes sense, because of course it does, and Elias finds that he loathes it even more in person

he blows out a stream of smoke, wishing he some whiskey on him ]

The bow of the ship is the correct term for the pointy end, as you so creatively put it.

[littletonoidea]

Ohhhhh.

[That sounds like a genuine noise of realisation.]

That's the fun part about working with spaceships instead of real boats, I guess. Nothing's pointy, 'cos if it is and it breaks something, you're as good as dead. Sometimes you're even actually dead!

[He's pulling out his own packet as he speaks with grim cheer.]

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

How nice.

[ if only, he thinks to himself ]

But let's not get sidetracked. You haven't been a warden all that long, have you?

[littletonoidea]

Nope. Just two months of the daily grind. You'll be my lucky number two, so! Let's get that bread, huh?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Let's.

[ he could throw him overboard and no one would know. that's an option. ]

I've had wardens who wanted to check in daily, and others who were happy with the occasional catch-up. Do you have a preference?

[littletonoidea]

[He could and Eiffel would barely fight him on it.]

I mean, sure, we could totally do daily sitreps, get the 4-11 on where you wanna be, how many people you're screwing over with your weird camera powers. Stuff like that!