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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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[littletonoidea]

"Wait- really?"

The shock isn't just because he got a present, though that's certainly a surprise. More like--

"Iiiii don't think I remember telling you that, my homie."

[epistemological]

"Because you didn't," and he taps his temple, right next to his eyes. "I was wondering if anyone on board still knew at this point and it popped into my head."

He shrugs.

[littletonoidea]

"Huh." He's not even sure he's upset about it, to be honest. He does give Jon a raised eyebrow though, with a dry grin.

"Birthday twins? Seriously?"

[epistemological]

"Seriously," he says with a soft chuckle. "I assume you'd like me to keep it to myself?"

[littletonoidea]

There's a long moment of deliberation from Eiffel, before he decides, with a shrug of one shoulder and a slight tip of his head.

"I'd appreciate that, pal. But, uh." He lifts the presents with a somewhat shy grin. "If you're hoping for change on these, you're gonna have to give me an hour or two to run down to Walmart real quick."

[epistemological]

He holds up a hand and shakes his head.

"Hardly. I'm awful enough, but not so awful as to expect unexpected gifts to be reciprocated.

"Enjoy the lighter, Officer Eiffel. And as happy a birthday as you can manage."

[littletonoidea]

"Hey, if there's any time of year I should get off my ass and find you something better than a Hallmark and a Benjamin, 'tis the goddamn season."

"But-- yeah." He holds up the lighter to look at a bit more intently, and flicks Jon a smile. "Happy birthday to you too. How old's that make you now, anyhow?"

[epistemological]

"Fuck if I know," he says with a huff of a laugh. "Time is a joke around here. And I'd have to figure out if I count the time I was a pirate for a year."

[littletonoidea]

"First of all, that's fucking incredible that that's a sentence you can say with a straight face," he says gleefully. "But also, like. Even with the whole Archivist Scissorhands aesthetic, you still don't actually look that much older than me, and I'm officially thirty-three now."

[epistemological]

"Depending on your timing, I've either got two or three years on you, but not much else."

He reaches over and fluffs his hair a little, showing off the white.

"This is most of why people are confused I know what a ninja turtle is."

[littletonoidea]

"I am shocked - shocked that someone who looks like you live off of Werthers Originals knows what a ninja turtle is. Absolute blasphemy."

In the husky, flat tone of someone who is dryly, deeply amused.

[epistemological]

"Enough to claim Donatello as my favorite, not that it was ever in question."

[littletonoidea]

"Oh yeah. Big nerds love a big nerd. Bet you thought you were smarter than all the other kids your age, too."

[epistemological]

"Please don't remind me," he says with obvious 'pain'.

"...Raphael or Michelangelo?"

[littletonoidea]

That gets a snort. "Ouch. You're not wrong, though, Raph was my main man."

[epistemological]

"I mean, the only other choice was Leonardo."

He doesn't think Leonardo was anyone's favorite, but this is purely a personal opinion.