IC Inbox

[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

Action | Text | Voice | Video

Comments

[littletonoidea]

On a scale of "ra ra Rasputin" to "ran into my knife ten times", how close to dying were you to begin with?

[empathicfault]

Not sure. I'd been stabbed a couple times, there was a lot of bleeding. Nothing vital hit, though, looks like.

[littletonoidea]

"Just a flesh wound", got it.

Well he's not gonna do anything until he knows you're gonna be hale and hearty enough to survive the process to start with so congratulations, you've got until your fun new stab wounds heal until Doktor Murderstein tries popping the plague in you.

And by then the flood will be over and he won't have infirmary access anyway.

[empathicfault]

Sounds like it'll work itself out, then. All right, I've dealt with worse medical conditions.

Thanks for the info. My name's Will Graham, by the way. Just in case Hilbert changed his MO and I keel over unexpectedly.

[littletonoidea]

Nah, you won't keel over.

You'll cough up a lung, one of them's gonna collapse and you'll start bleeding internally.

[empathicfault]

I see. Well, I definitely don't want to add that to my lived experiences. But thanks for the details, anyway.

Do you happen to know who the less morally-deficient doctors are here? I'd check the infirmary for a chart, but I'm obviously not going back until the Flood's over.

[littletonoidea]

Sure, it's Tiff and Dracula. Yes the big-ass vampire with the fangs and the cape, he's our like head doctor cos he's magic and crap, but Tiff's been here longer and she's good for pretty much everything else.

[empathicfault]

This really isn't helping my hypothesis that this is all a fever dream before I die, but okay. I'll keep an eye out for either of them. I can trust Dracula, I assume?

> Audio

[littletonoidea]

[Screw it, Eiffel wants to use his big boy words.]

Yeah, nothing like coming into this place half dead and delirious to really make this place feel like you're falling down the rabbit hole. I promise you feel less like Alice and more like the Cheshire cat the more used to this place you get.

> Audio

[empathicfault]

[ Well, all right. Will doesn't mind moving to voice, too. He sounds tired but amused. ]

I've had plenty of falling down the rabbit hole back home. I'll manage. But yeah, I am looking forward to feeling like I have a clue what's going on around here.

Re: > Audio

[littletonoidea]

Oh that doesn't happen. Every month this place is a brand new episode of the Twilight Zone, between the floods and breaches and people just randomly deciding "You know what? I'm having a bad day, let's get murdery over it!"

[Reassuring, Eiffel.]

But you kinda find your rhythm after a bit, and then you just kinda Tango Maureen your way to victory.

[empathicfault]

'Tango Maureen'?

[ Yeah, he's not a musical guy. ]

If that's just sort of blundering through it, then I'll try my best. How often does the 'murdery bad day' part happen, out of curiosity?

[littletonoidea]

More often than a blue moon, less often than a pig swims in muck. It usually varies pretty wildly, but if I had to take a stab at statistics, I'd say maybe once every two weeks or so. On average. During a bad flood the number goes waaaay up.