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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

Action | Text | Voice | Video

Comments

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

The medical personnel in the infirmary must be exceptional at their jobs.

[ sidestepping the issue is fine. He's fine. ]

And I take my lunch shift very seriously.

[littletonoidea]

No, yeah, the actual doctors? Flawless. [But his tone is terse and impatient when he continues without pause.] But you still almost died, Elias. Most people take a few days off after that? I was out for a week.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

And you're looking much better for it.

[ no comment that he is the reason that Eiffel had to be admitted in the first place. ]

My wound was really not that serious. Rather, it was the combination of-- the creative punishments I've received that tipped it over the edge. I really did wish Ms. King a lot of harm just at that moment.

[ he's trying very hard to keep his tone light and unaffected and to keep his tiredness out of his voice. it's mostly a success ]

[littletonoidea]

[Incredibly, that was not one of the attempted deaths he was thinking of.]

Okay, well, apparently-well-deserved karma aside. You should still take a break. Go-- have a KitKat or something. Have a nap. Being a horror movie antagonist doesn't make you not need to sleep, right?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ eiffel are you almost dying thanks to other people? that's just rude ]

I'm not one for lounging about. My wounds were treated, there was little else bedrest would do for me.

[ also, you know. someone took all his books away. ]

[littletonoidea]

Okay? [That sounds fake, Elias, everyone loves naps.] Well, uhhhh... I can... see if I can't have a chat with some of the other wardens, see if we can't find you something slightly more, like. Fulfilling than just making lunches?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Be my guest. I don't expect anyone is all too interested in having me anywhere near a position of actual power.