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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

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[epistemological]

Which should tell you something, as he’s never been so adamant about things before you.

I’m…

I’m a very… odd-

I hold a very odd place in his… in his eyes, I suppose.

But I said it before and I will repeat it: the fact that you get under his skin is good. Even if he’s probably going to give you hell for it.

[littletonoidea]

Well, I appreciate that the "dignified before, garbage rat-man after" shots here are a great source of joy for you. Seriously, full sincerity, that's a classic bit.

[He is actually bring genuine there.]

It's just a little bit harder to appreciate the humour of the situation when I'm the one he keeps wanting to yell "Off with his head" at.

[epistemological]

[ There's a very deep breath of someone gathering up their patience. And then he lets it out. ]

I will point out that the fire in the library, while obviously targeting you and Daniel was primarily pointed at me. There are any number of blunt objects he could have used to harm the two of you, but he set fire to the library because it's one of the few ways he could take a significant chunk out of me.

And that is after... everything else, which does include turning me into a monster via reasonable employment.

So when you act as if I have not been the target of the lion's share of harm caused by and implemented by Elias Bouchard, as if I find his ire trite... it is somewhat frustrating.

[ A long breath out as he scrubs at his face. ]

I take no joy from his... 'freak out'. I don't even enjoy that everyone's upset with him right now, even if he very much deserves it and I do feel he was let off far too lightly the last time.

[ A huff. ]

The reasons why I, and you now, are the focus of his ire are twofold.

The first, of course, is power over him. Power greater than his, and the means to give or remove power from him. He hates that. He's been calling the shots for 200 years.

The second is much more complicated and much more... what I was trying to talk about.

[ A soft pause. ]

We See him.

He does not wish to be Seen, only to See others. But the fact that you can See him, well enough to get under his skin... means you have what it takes to be a good warden for him. Because someone who doesn't see him will let him run them around and play nice for however long he manages to stay here playing games without accomplishing a damn thing.

[littletonoidea]

[He does listen when Jon's talking, and his silence has a distinctly awkward edge to it when Jon points out the obvious fact that he's not as special as he thinks he is for being targeted before. Not compared to Jon, which, he can see that.

It'd be like if Hilbert took everyone as collateral just to get to him, really. Tormenting his experiment at any cost.

...thinking of it like that, actually, he very abruptly realises he has a lot more in common with Jon than he thought.

Before he can comment on it, though, Jon's moved on to the more salient point.]

...well, I have a very supportive CV of the fact that I can be the most annoying person in any given room.

[There's a long exhale as he sighs out his cigarette.]

And he's already worked out I'm weak at the knees for a good authoritarian tone, by the way, and not in the fun way. But... God, it's weird being able to kind of like...

[There's a pause for a moment as he tries to find the right words.]

He's just a guy. Behind all the sense and sensibility and spooks he's just... I dunno. The Eye seems bad for you guys, but he doesn't wanna cop to it.

[epistemological]

Of course he doesn't want to 'cop' to it [ but there's a great deal less frustration and a bit of dark humor now ] given he's sunken about 200 years into the whole thing. Our world makes it very- very appealing to be full of fear.

But it leads to bad things, as you've said. It leads to... losing perspective. Forgetting who you are in the face of, um, of all of it.

[ He breathes out. ]

He is 'just a guy'. And a guy who, if his friends were to be believed, used to be quite a decent sort. He... cares. I-in frankly strange and baffling ways.

[ He sighs, just a little one. ]

He's scared. And he doesn't know what to do. And he's realizing that the Eye isn't the answer he thought it was and that is terrifying. People lie the most when they're trying to convince themselves.

I'm sure you know what I mean.

[littletonoidea]

I mean...

[Is that a call-out? He feels vaguely called out despite himself but now he's overthinking it and he's worried that Jon knows something he's not saying and he's freaking himself out thinking about it.]

Yeah, obviously. Only for most people the lie is something stupid like, "Oh yeah, I'll totally ace that test I haven't studied for", or- or "just one more won't hurt". Not-- "my space-boss who's got literally no trace of humanity or- even a concept of morality is gonna make me 'employee of the apocalypse', for sure".

[He gives a light snort.]

Points to Elias for really honing that specificality.

[He means 'specificity'.]

[epistemological]

[ Jon usually knows more than he's going to admit during a conversation, and he almost always won't talk about it if he does. But he's not really a master of subtle manipulation and/or utilizing that information. Usually he just sort of spouts it out and goes 'well what do we do about this now?' because he sure as fuck doesn't know. ]

...yes, he's- he's definitely picked a niche and fulfilled it, um... thoroughly.

But I-

Primarily, I wanted to let you know that I am making myself available as a resource to you. I... I was trying something different, not coming to you directly with that, but we all saw how that worked out so, um...

If you need me to shed light on something, p-please don't hesitate to ask.