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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

Action | Text | Voice | Video

Comments

[verticalwall]

She was short and mean and was hanging around a cabin.

[ he'll give the number, voice muffled once more. ]

I told her she didn't have to answer!

[littletonoidea]

[Eiffel isn't any good with room numbers, but the fact the culprit is female narrows it down significantly.]

You didn't happen to record you guys talking, did you?

[verticalwall]

[ Allan, without looking up from his face in the couch, bends his arm backwards at an odd angle to hold the recorder up for him to grab. ]

You're going to have to sift through the poems.

[littletonoidea]

I'm sure I'll survive.

[Allan that's a concerning angle for your arm to be on. But he takes the recorder still - it's good to foster the trust in letting him take it back, even if he's got them all downloaded already.

But hey, he'll start rewinding until he finds the incriminating conversation. It's trickier than he expects with how Allan says it literally the exact same every time.]

[verticalwall]

[ There's a lot. Like, a lot. Entire conversations. Allan, still completely face down and perfectly perpendicular to the horizon, sniffs loudly. ]

Can you ask the admiral really nicely, maybe? I'll stay in Barbie Land, I won't try to leave like last time.

[littletonoidea]

[He's genuinely kind of impressed by how much Allan is actually talking to people. Also slightly concerned.]

The Admiral thinks you're better off here, buddy. One day we're gonna get you to see why he might think that.

[He frowns at the crackle of static he gets on his next replay, but then he hears Allan screaming and nearly drops it in surprise.] Woah- there we go, found it.

[verticalwall]

[ dammit. Leaving's a no go. Allan goes back to throwing his quiet tantrum until he hears the recording, and he slowly lifts his head. ]

Am I gonna fail homework?

[littletonoidea]

What? [He looks back at Allan with a confused frown.] No, why would you fail the homework? You did what I asked you to, Kikimora was the one who was an asshole about not wanting to talk to you.

[verticalwall]

[ The rest of his body comes next, no longer dollface down and instead sitting up, hastily rubbing at his eyes. ]

That's good. I don't want to get anyone in trouble, either.

[ He sniffs. ]

My eyes are wet.

[littletonoidea]

[He's still sitting on a higher perch, so he reaches out to ruffle Allan's hair again.]

It's called crying. It usually happens when you feel bad in some way, like- freaking out because you think you failed something, or getting hurt, physically. Like being set on fire for example. Do you need to go to the infirmary?

[verticalwall]

[ Allan's words are half-mumbled. ]

No, I don't want more attention. It feels weird, like my skin is trying to get away from me.

[ He does wipe at his face and sniff for a few seconds ]

May I please have the recorder back?

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, sure. [He hands the recorder back readily.] But if your skin feels bad like that, that means you should see a doctor. Fire hurts real people, and if you don't get it checked out then sometimes it can make you skin feel bad forever.

[verticalwall]

That sounds disgusting! My feet are OK.

[ this is an inside problem called embarrassement. He'll lift his leg to show his bare feet, though. See? He's fine. Once the leg is settled, he presses record on the audio device. ]

Allan Log Number 561. Dear me: I don't like crying. Or fire or being sad. I already know that but this is a perfect reminder.

[littletonoidea]

[...oh he really needs to sort those files out sooner than later. He's just glad Allan numbers them.]

There's a lot of guys that don't like crying. And no-one likes being sad, but... hey, everyone's felt it at some point. Hilbert's been sad a bunch too, and I used to feel sad all the time.

[We'll work our way up to depression as a concept.]

[verticalwall]

[ Eiffel getting sad makes sense because he's a human, but there's something Allan can sense but not quite grasp in the other's sentence. There's a weight to what the other is saying that makes the redhead's brows knit, and he shuts the audio recorder off and sits upright entirely, curiousity wiping away any trace of sadness or pout or freak out.

Dolls are very, very easy to distract, after all. ]

What do you mean?

[littletonoidea]

[Oh apparently they are going into it now.]

Well. One way people might make themselves feel sad is by hurting people they care about. And the worse they hurt someone, the more sad they get. And sometimes, that sad... takes a really, really long time to go away. It's always kind of there, even if you find a way to feel happy at the same time.

[He does a lazy little jazz hands.]

That's the kind of sad I've got.

[verticalwall]

[ Allan listens very carefully, because Eiffel's face isn't doing anything weird but the tone sort of is. It's very serious. And Allan thinks maybe he understands why. ]

Oh! I get it. You're just like Barbie.

[littletonoidea]

[What.]

Can you... run that by me one more time?

[verticalwall]

I mean you're just like Barbie!

Barbie was getting really sad and asking if people ever thought about death all the time, so she went to Weird Barbie and Weird Barbie told her to go to the Real World to find herself. And she and Ken went, but Ken came back and told us all about the Patriarchy and now things are really bad there, which is why I tried to go to the real world and instead of being there, I'm here.

So you're like Barbie. Sad all the time but always pretending to be really happy.

[littletonoidea]

[Well that's a lot to learn all at once. Which always seems to be the way with Allan but it never gets less jarring.]

Barbie had depression?

[verticalwall]

I guess. I'm not really in that inner circle. I just like to hang out. Lots of irrepressible thoughts of death, for sure.

But yeah, you're totally Barbie. Do you have cellulite, too?

[littletonoidea]

No! I mean- [He twists to try and look at his own ass.] -maybe? Wait, no, that doesn't matter! How do you know all that?

[verticalwall]

[ Allan's gaze widens considerably at Eiffel looking like he's about to chase his tail like a dog, but it settles immediately. ]

Because I'm Allan.

[ That's probably going to be confusing. Allan gestures as he speaks. ]

You know how I said no one really notices I'm there? Or around? Or exist, really? And how I really don't mind it because I like just standing around and listening to people?

When people forget you're there, you hear everything. I know most of what goes on in Barbieland at any given time.