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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ the realisation of what he's said hits him just as it does eiffel. damn.

For a moment Elias shifts, inspecting the handkerchief like he isn't going to answer. But there were enough people around that if he wants to know there won't be any hiding it. ]

Dear Miss Melanie King. A decent employee, for the most part. Not one to be appeased with breaking my nose, however. She stabbed me in the shoulder, ripped out Mr. Gray's heart, and if she hadn't turned back into Stoker I'm quite sure you'd have had to come and resurrect me.

[ He keeps his tone level, like this is nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone's former employees just really hate them, Eiffel. That's just life as a businessman. ]

[littletonoidea]

Holy-- talk about moxie.

[Immediately she reminds him of Lovelace, and he can't decide if that's a good thing or not.]

Wait, so-- [His frown deepens, and now he looks concerned.] You got Shank-hi'ed, again, got dragged to the infirmary so you don't die, and you're already up and at 'em like it's the end of the world if you don't??

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

The medical personnel in the infirmary must be exceptional at their jobs.

[ sidestepping the issue is fine. He's fine. ]

And I take my lunch shift very seriously.

[littletonoidea]

No, yeah, the actual doctors? Flawless. [But his tone is terse and impatient when he continues without pause.] But you still almost died, Elias. Most people take a few days off after that? I was out for a week.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

And you're looking much better for it.

[ no comment that he is the reason that Eiffel had to be admitted in the first place. ]

My wound was really not that serious. Rather, it was the combination of-- the creative punishments I've received that tipped it over the edge. I really did wish Ms. King a lot of harm just at that moment.

[ he's trying very hard to keep his tone light and unaffected and to keep his tiredness out of his voice. it's mostly a success ]

[littletonoidea]

[Incredibly, that was not one of the attempted deaths he was thinking of.]

Okay, well, apparently-well-deserved karma aside. You should still take a break. Go-- have a KitKat or something. Have a nap. Being a horror movie antagonist doesn't make you not need to sleep, right?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ eiffel are you almost dying thanks to other people? that's just rude ]

I'm not one for lounging about. My wounds were treated, there was little else bedrest would do for me.

[ also, you know. someone took all his books away. ]

[littletonoidea]

Okay? [That sounds fake, Elias, everyone loves naps.] Well, uhhhh... I can... see if I can't have a chat with some of the other wardens, see if we can't find you something slightly more, like. Fulfilling than just making lunches?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Be my guest. I don't expect anyone is all too interested in having me anywhere near a position of actual power.