IC Inbox

[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

Action | Text | Voice | Video

Comments

[betacuck]

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer me--It's always a little hard to explain this, it's just--it's, uh... It's raw, you know? Everything that's happened. With him.

[littletonoidea]

Yeah, I... I guess I can kinda imagine it. Being an inmate means the whole... being dead thing really happened, huh. Must be rough.

[betacuck]

No, I mean--yes, his departure from this earth was so, so tragic, we mourned for days, but I mean...

... I mean the incident.

[littletonoidea]

Would... he be, uh. Okay with you airing his dirty laundry?

1/2

[betacuck]

Less dirty laundry, more of a heads up.

So, uh, there's no real delicate way to put this, but Kendall can be a little bit... sensitive, over, uh, what our family has called the Incident. When he was 15, and, uh, curious... like, uh, in a way that a young man is curious...

2/2

[betacuck]

Fuck it, I'm just going to say it: Kendall has no feeling in his dick because he got it stuck in a vacuum cleaner when he was a teenager and now he's super sensitive about it. It's half of the reason why he wants to kill himself.

1/2

[littletonoidea]

[There is a long silence.

Somehow it almost seems disappointed.]

2/2

[littletonoidea]

Is this, like. A little brother thing? Being a raging asshole to your big bro?

[betacuck]

I've never been more serious in my entire life.

[littletonoidea]

Really?

[He doesn't sound like he's buying it.]

Because you kinda sound like a shitty ninety's coming-of-age film bully. Which is actually impressive, I didn't think they made people that stupid in real life.

[betacuck]

Hey, facts are facts, I don't make them up.

[ He absolutely made them up. He's also sticking to it being true, even if he's ready to move on, ]

Has he lurched in your direction yet, in all his turtle-looking glory?

[littletonoidea]

We've had a little tate ehr tot, yeah, I've met him already. He seems like a nice guy.

[Yes that was meant to be tête à tête.]

[betacuck]

You had tater tots with Kendall?

[littletonoidea]

I-- no, we met in person already. Had a smoke and a quick therapy session on what the hell we're both doing. He seems like a cool dude.

[Unlike present company.]

[betacuck]

[ Kendall? Cool? Kendall Roy, cool? Roman's eyes are practically wider than dinner plates. ]

You think Kendall Roy is cool.

[littletonoidea]

...okay honestly, I'm gonna admit my bar isn't that high right now. We can actually hold a conversation without him bringing up how he's so okay with performing freestyle surgery on people. He's nice. Chill.

[betacuck]

[ His eyebrows are so high they might as well be a part of his hair. ]

He's really got you fooled, holy shit.

Kendall Roy is the least chill person I know, first of all, and second of all, ask him to just start freestyling at you at some point. You'll love it.

[littletonoidea]

Okay- sure thing, pal. I'm really gonna trust your opinion when you open up your inaugural conversation with me to give your brother hell.

[betacuck]

The guy's so anxious he uses coke as a downer. I just think it's important you know how both he and his dick works, vaccuum aside.

Ooh--you should ask him about Rava instead.

[littletonoidea]

Oh- you mean his ex-girlfriend Rava? Yeah, she's come up. No big.

[betacuck]

Uh.

Wife.

Is he lying to you?

[littletonoidea]

If he is, he's only lying about his own beeswax, and not running around playing Two Truths And A Lie to literally anyone who knows him well enough to have an opinion.

[betacuck]

Has anyone told you how dangerously un-fun you are?

[littletonoidea]

What, you think I like being Mister Responsible? My last job was a joke, I'm waaaay more used to being the clown sent in to throw spanners in the works.

[betacuck]

So why are you being Mister Responsible then? You could just let us fuck off.

[ oh god. roman is actually a little bit curious. ]

Your little warden promise something worth it, huh?