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[littletonoidea]

"This is the audio log of Communications Officer Doug Eiffel of the-- previously of the U.S.S Hephaestus, leave a message and I'll see if I can bear to drag myself away from whatever utterly engaging task I must be doing to not notice my comms--"

BZZZZZZZ

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Comments

hi it's me again you will never be rid of me

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ so it turns out that perhaps elias ought to have stayed in the infirmary.

but no, he went to work, did lunch shift-- and got his nose broken because the barge is currently overrun by his former employees.

for now he's found a quiet spot up on deck and it holding a handkerchief to his nose. his suit jacket (spattered with blood) is off so that he's at least less obviously injured and he really, really is trying hard not to wish them all harm because that still hurts him.

until he spots his warden. Wonderful. ]

Eiffel. Having a pleasant day?

[ just ignore the handkerchief to his nose, thanks. ]

Not after the 15th I bloody well won't and it's beautiful

[littletonoidea]

[As is typical for Eiffel, he is talking. Though there's no immediate indication as to who, he is wearing his headset, and speaking with a distinctly more intense sense of agitation; but when he spots Elias it takes him a moment to actually realise, and he does a very visible double-take.]

...I'll- I'll call you back, captain.

[Then he pulls his headset off to rest around his neck as he approaches. Admittedly, with some visible trepidation, but he still does it.]

Heyyyyy, Elias - are you, uh. Well. Okay is the wrong end of the spectrum, I'm guessing- but like. Are you... okay?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

It wouldn't feel right for a week to pass without a former employee of mine trying to break my nose.

[ so he's feeling sarcastic is how he's feeling ]

[littletonoidea]

Oof. [Yes, he just says the word 'oof'.] D'you, uh. Need to see a doctor, maybe?

[That nervous keen comes through at the end, like he's not sure if it's a stupid suggestion.]

Or did one of them replace a doc? 'Cos I get being scared of going to the nurse's office if you don't know whether one of 'em's gonna turn around with a band-aid or a ruler.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

I've no need to go back there for something as minor as this.

[ his tone indicates he thinks it is a stupid suggestion, but he's also the one sitting here dabbing at his nose so.... ]

[littletonoidea]

[That gets a dry smile.]

Like how you're saying so long, farewell to someone except you keep going in the same direction?

[...and then realisation clicks and he suddenly frowns.]

Wait, back? What happened to make you go the first time?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ the realisation of what he's said hits him just as it does eiffel. damn.

For a moment Elias shifts, inspecting the handkerchief like he isn't going to answer. But there were enough people around that if he wants to know there won't be any hiding it. ]

Dear Miss Melanie King. A decent employee, for the most part. Not one to be appeased with breaking my nose, however. She stabbed me in the shoulder, ripped out Mr. Gray's heart, and if she hadn't turned back into Stoker I'm quite sure you'd have had to come and resurrect me.

[ He keeps his tone level, like this is nothing out of the ordinary. Everyone's former employees just really hate them, Eiffel. That's just life as a businessman. ]

[littletonoidea]

Holy-- talk about moxie.

[Immediately she reminds him of Lovelace, and he can't decide if that's a good thing or not.]

Wait, so-- [His frown deepens, and now he looks concerned.] You got Shank-hi'ed, again, got dragged to the infirmary so you don't die, and you're already up and at 'em like it's the end of the world if you don't??

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

The medical personnel in the infirmary must be exceptional at their jobs.

[ sidestepping the issue is fine. He's fine. ]

And I take my lunch shift very seriously.

[littletonoidea]

No, yeah, the actual doctors? Flawless. [But his tone is terse and impatient when he continues without pause.] But you still almost died, Elias. Most people take a few days off after that? I was out for a week.

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

And you're looking much better for it.

[ no comment that he is the reason that Eiffel had to be admitted in the first place. ]

My wound was really not that serious. Rather, it was the combination of-- the creative punishments I've received that tipped it over the edge. I really did wish Ms. King a lot of harm just at that moment.

[ he's trying very hard to keep his tone light and unaffected and to keep his tiredness out of his voice. it's mostly a success ]

[littletonoidea]

[Incredibly, that was not one of the attempted deaths he was thinking of.]

Okay, well, apparently-well-deserved karma aside. You should still take a break. Go-- have a KitKat or something. Have a nap. Being a horror movie antagonist doesn't make you not need to sleep, right?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

[ eiffel are you almost dying thanks to other people? that's just rude ]

I'm not one for lounging about. My wounds were treated, there was little else bedrest would do for me.

[ also, you know. someone took all his books away. ]

[littletonoidea]

Okay? [That sounds fake, Elias, everyone loves naps.] Well, uhhhh... I can... see if I can't have a chat with some of the other wardens, see if we can't find you something slightly more, like. Fulfilling than just making lunches?

[extendedbrutalpipemurder]

Be my guest. I don't expect anyone is all too interested in having me anywhere near a position of actual power.